just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
