I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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