let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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