We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think a kid would responsible me up
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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