your thong is hanging out like whoa
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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