ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
try to milk me bitch
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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