No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
