thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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