More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize