why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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