dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
