sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
