We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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