with your own penis?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
