sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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