it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
