i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm like, not good at living.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
