she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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