new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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