Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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