True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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