tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
