I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
