some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
