I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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