help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Someone came in the potted fern
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize