Do you still have your period?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I believe in your delicious
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
