would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
