i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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