Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
