I never want to see another naked old woman again.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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