I cannot find my penis.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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