Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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