What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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