considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
