Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
