moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
