If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
