Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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