so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
