i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
