think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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