this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
