margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
