Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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