Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
