he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
