That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
