Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Come on in and take your pants off
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