i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize