im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
