So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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