y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
