btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
