are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
