i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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