just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
