hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
