I hope mine doesn't look like that
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
