Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
