if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
