what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
