At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
