My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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