More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize