i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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